STRANGE de JIM'S ZINGERS COLLECTION SEPTEMBER 28 2010
October 9, 2010
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STRANGE de JIM’S ZINGERS COLLECTION SEPTEMBER 28 2010 29 September 2010
STRANGE de JIM’S ZINGERS COLLECTION SEPTEMBER 28, 2010
Tuesday, September 28 Strangie to David Letterman: “A study found that women apologize more than men. Not in my house.”
September Strangies: Leno 6, Letterman 5, Colbert 3, Ferguson 2, Kimmel 2, Fallon 1, Stewart 1
By Strange de JimBeep beep! Love from Strange
Strangie to David Letterman: “A study found that women apologize more than men. Not in my house.”
Jon Stewart: “Israel has resume settlement construction on the West Bank. So hope of peace survived for 3 weeks.” John Oliver suggested building time share units. “Neither side would bomb a house if they’re going to be living in it themselves in a few months. What’s it going to take, Jon, to put you in a disputed territory?” “Gas Hole:” Aasif Mondvi reported on a shortage of helium. At the end of the show Stephen Colbert invited Jon to his March to Keep Fear Alive Oct. 30, and Jon said he was busy that day. Stephen: “It’s never pretty when an old maid plays hard to get.”
Stephen Colbert: “Are voters suffering from apathy? I don’t care.” “I always run on the balls of my feet. That’s right, even my feet have balls.”
David Letterman: “It was 113 degrees in L.A. Gov. Schwarzenegger, walking on the hot sidewalk, actually scorched his knuckles.” It was so hot Sarah Palin was happy to get a chilly reception at ‘Dancing with the Stars.’” “When that Delta plane landed on one wheel at Kennedy it was so scary it sobered up the pilots.” “Larry King is the new Betty White. He wants to host ‘Saturday Night Live.’ It’s #4 on his bucket list.” “New York has the 2 best restrooms in North America. One is in Bryant Park, and the other one is Central Park.” “President Obama has written a children’s book: ‘The One-Term Engine That Could.’” “North Korea’s Kim Jong Il is stepping down for Kim Jong Jay.” Showed photo of Jay Leno. Guest Jon Stewart on having kids: “The opportunity to ruin someone from scratch.” Dave: “Oprah gives her audience trips. The audience leaves here with nothing but a bad taste in their mouths.”
Jay Leno: “It’s so hot even Republicans are complaining about global warming.” “Obama said students can’t learn in the current educational environment. Somebody forgot to tell the Asian students.” “The UN has appointed a Space Alien Greeter. How does this make Mexicans feel?” “After that scary landing at Kennedy Airport, Delta charged passengers a $25 seat-cleaning fee.” “Have you seen that emergency bra. It becomes two emergency respirators. Guys love it. They’re safe, and she’s topless.” “The MacArthur Genius Grants have been awarded, and once again the cast of ‘Jersey Shore’ have been frozen out.” “Lindsay Lohan will be out of rehab in time for Oktoberfest.”
Jimmy Kimmel guest Dane Cook had to go straight from shooting a horror comedy to the third date with a girl he really liked, so the make-up people cleaned the fake blood off his face and chest. What he realized when his date took his pants off was that the blood had dripped down and dried on his genitals. So he yelled, “What did you do!?” Dane also said he made a 7-person seesaw.
Jimmy Fallon: “‘Dancing with the Stars’ was exciting. Sarah Palin was praying, ‘Don’t let her fall,’ and Bristol Palin was praying, ‘Don’t let her talk.’” “The President of Iran says he’s going on a trip to throw a rock at Israel. Israel’s new defense? Paper.” “China has decided it’s not changing its 1-child policy. Their new hit TV show is ‘Jon & Kate + 1 and That’s It.’” “President Obama has listed the songs on his iPod. The Tea Partiers are checking to see if ‘Born in the USA’ is on there.” “Lindsay Lohan is in a new rehab. As she went in she said, ‘Keep the car running.’”
Craig Ferguson: “Christine O’Donnell is against masturbation and also doesn’t believe in evolution. She says, ‘Why aren’t monkeys still evolving?’ Because they’re too busy masturbating.” “Kim Jong Il is transferring power to his son Kim Jong Un, who is a Dictator Tot. Why are there all these tiny tyrants? Kim Jong Il, Napoleon, Snooki. Kim Jong Il is like a Bond villain. They should send Sean Connery in to deal with him. ‘Hah, I’ve taken craps bigger than you!’” Robot skeleton sidekick Geoff Peterson: “In your pants.”
“Role Models” by John WatersBest Buy $16.38or Buy New $16.50
John talks about and interviews his role models.
Page 215 – Bobby [Garcia, master of Marine porn] pulls out from a special hiding place a treasure box filled with letters from English, Spanish, and Greek royalty. Real queens, not gay ones. Bobby’s hobby is writing to anyone who wears a crown. And they write back! He even shows me a polite response from Princess Di to Bobby’s fan mail! “But how do you know which ones will respond?” I ask in dumbfounded amazement. “I subscribe to ‘Majesty’ and ‘Royalty’ magazines,” and he starts by writing to “ladies in waiting” in each country and they “usually write back,” and then he works his way up to the top.
See Related: STRANGE de JIM’S ZINGERS COLLECTION ARCHIVE
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